Thanks for Boosting our Numbers

Thanks to all those who got the word out about our new bestseller, Living the Creative Missional Life, with Intent and Enthusiasm and a sense of Purposeful Imagination. We have seen tremendous sales and believe that this book will result in many, many churches taking themselves to the next level, and then the next and the next. We grew from a little pastoral counseling group, to a huge, multi-million dollar concern in just a few years, and you can too - using the 7 Godly principles of Marketing and Exploitation that LCMLIEPI explores. We'll show you how to play off your expert status and attract pastor-clients from all over your area. LCMLIEPI is now in its sixth printing and  - there is no end in sight. A big THANK YOU for those of you who have made our success possible.

The big guys can help

Is your church struggling? Have you tried to make it grow without success? Have you wondered WHEN God would finally help your congregation become a towering megachurch like you know it is destined to be? You can relax and stop worrying now, because the big guys are here to help.

If you think the problem might be with you, you can order a pastor personality profile to see if your personality, communication skills and leadership style are helping or hurting your congregation. This is what you get:

1.  A report on your general personality characteristics
2.  Do's and don't on communicating 
3.  Graphs of your leadership style
4.  Trends on how well you fit in your environment

This all comes from "renown (sic) authors" so it must be worth the $27 per profile, $95 if you want coaching with it.

If you don't think the problem is you, never fear. The problem might be with your volunteers, or lack of them. Famous big, superpastor Ed Young, who is so successful he leases a jet, even for short trips, offers a CD kit on  pivotal principles for developing a strong volunteer force. Your church can learn Ed's secrets for a mere $299.00


It may just be that your congregants need training in how to be more sacrificial. A capital campaign might be all you need. Successful box store church pastors who've done it themselves will kindly show you how to raise money in a capital campaign. For a fee.
For slightly less than $700.00 you can purchase this product from a multi-campus pastor in New York. It promises to help you Learn how to challenge every person to make a significant and sacrificial contribution and to exceed your goal and maximize contributions. The testimonial at the end goes on and on, so it must be effective. And it's only $695.95

 With so much help from fellow Christian brothers, it won't be long before your church is bursting at the seams. Then, you can charge the little guys for your help by packaging seminars and kits, packages and conference products. And you can write a best selling book about it, too.

Keeping track of the givers and the disenchanted

You want your church to grow, right? So you need a way to butter up the ones who give and who help in the nursery, while marginalizing the stubborn traditionalists who won't get with the vision. How can you keep track of who is who in your church without taking the trouble to get to know people? You want to be able to track and categorize your members, get familiar with their habits, know who they bank with, know their hobbies, their weaknesses (which might come in handy if they make trouble down the road), their social security numbers and their TV viewing habits.
Luckily, you are not left alone to do these monumental tasks, you have help  when using programs such as this one, with.its "robust contribution model" and its attendance tracking features. Or this one With its donor management and pledge tracking, or Servant Keeper (think Mason Jar)  whose motto is  Organizing God's people." Or maybe "ChurchTrac" that lets you "keep track of your members and prospects." Or any of dozens of other easy-to-use programs.

Church environment and Jesus

When you look at the New Testament, you see that Jesus was interested in leadership philosophies, rebranding and quality audiovisual environments. He told his disciples to go out and lead, he rebranded his disciples with new names, and he'd often go onto mountaintops to create just the right environment for his message: a clear concern with both auditory and visual elements of His presentation.

So when you come across sites like this one, you know that despite the materialistic emphasis, there is core Bibllical truth here.
Can't you just imagine Jesus telling his listeners to "Be holistic, stay current and respect the context"? Just like the beatitudes. If Jesus walked among us today, he'd be the sound guy. Or, maybe not.

Criticize churches and make $$$

What a SWEET DEAL! Only $750 for small churches. Hire yourself out as a church "secret shopper." I know some guys who would gladly give you some Hawaiian Punch, too. And charge only twenty bucks or so.

Fill-in-the-blank Christianity

The sure sign of a devoted Christ follower is a sheet of paper in one hand and a pencil in the other. Committed Christ-followers realize that there is much more to learn in their fellowship walk than they know at the moment. The ones to learn it from are leaders. If you think you can read scripture, pray and follow Christ, without filling in blanks, you are sadly mistaken.
What many novice believers miss is that the blanks matter. The lists matter. The notes matter. The seven ways to, and the three signs of, and the five steps to -- as well as the four ways to, the six rules of, and the three mistakes of.

Baptism doesn't matter much. How you take communion doesn't make a whole lot of difference. Last times doctrines, spiritual gifts and worship style -- all debatable. Church government, ehhhh!
But what matters more than anything else is that you fill in the blanks when you listen, that you look up to your leader with eyes filled with devotion and that you take copious notes. These are the three marks of a sold-out Christ follower.

It's all about what it's all about!

And it's all about this:



"Sunday's Coming" Movie Trailer from North Point Media on Vimeo.
Found on the Be Deviant church site: http://www.bedeviant.com/are-your-worship-services-contemporvant

This video really hits home. This IS the heart of contemporvant worship!

Well, it did until its makers removed it, but somehow, it's back again.
Here is a post about  the initial removal, which is almost as good because of the comments about "planning worship."

A commenter on a CT blog provided the new link, so it's back!

The awesome power of trite phrases

Servant-leaders aren't powerless when it comes to finding themes for messages, not in this day of the practical and culturally cool! The trite phrase is the most cutting-edge tool in a relevant pastor's toolbox today, and it can be a time of deep discovery to invent and hone these phrases.
First, a pastor must come up with something that will make a listener nod and smile. Movement phrases are often effective here. "Let's move forward," though overused, still captures attention. No one wants to be accused of moving backwards or staying still.
For variety, you can add a little oomph by changing that one to "Let's push forward."

Climbing mountaintops, leaving the dock, launching a new something, venturing toward the unknown, taking a leap of faith, diving into something: all these work well as movement-based trite phrases.And don't forget "driven." Anything can drive, just about. Just watch out if you're in the bike lane.

Here are some current trite phrases you can adapt to your own needs:  _______________(passion, purpose, leadership, organization, outlook) is essential, ________________ (creativity, leadership, missional outreach, exponential giving) fires me up, embrace the ________________(something generally thought to be negative: trouble, tension, stress, conflict, hardship), maximize your ____________(something good), are you afraid to ______________(take risks, lead, move forward, be creative, make a plan?

The power of stating the obvious should never be overlooked. Put one foot in front of the other; Together, we can ___________; Never shift in reverse without looking behind you; Breathe deeply and carry a big stick; When pulling weeds, don't pluck up the geraniums; Hot beverages can burn you; Don't fall asleep on the journey; You can only wear one pair of shoes at a time... Any blatantly obvious statement can become a powerful trite phrase.

The advantage of shallow tidbits of advice is that you don't have to spend long hours musing over scripture. You don't even have to spend five minutes reviewing the scripture you once knew. You don't need scripture at all! People will nod knowingly and grin broadly as you throw out little platitudes, and they'll leave the worship center convinced you've brought them closer to God, all with very little prep time! Best of all, they'll come back for more next week. So give it a try. Make up a trite phrase of your own, or borrow some of these.

Always put air in your tires before a long journey, stop worrying about past mistakes; if you wait until the pool is warm enough, you'll never get in; lather, rinse, repeat; don't dive headfirst into a river without knowing what's under the water; if you throw rocks at a bear, you better be prepared to run...

Take a risk, journey forward, take a journey-driven step and make up your own.

The Greatest Commandment

Forget love, forgiveness, charity, faith, discipleship, holiness, service, worship, prayer. The most important aspect of the Christian life today is -- Leadership. We can't be true Christ-followers until we can lead, and until we can lead with vision and purpose.
Leadership!
Next Level Leadership!
Injoy Leadership
Leadership Summit!
Leveraging Leadership Conference!
Innovative Leadership
Equipping Leadership
Echo Leadership (Only $269)
Catalyst Leadership
Adventurous Leadership
Chick-fil-A Leadership
Exponential Leadership

Abandon dull readings of "passages," forsake outdated ideas such as communion, or fellowship, turn your back on such quaint concepts as sacrifice, struggle, seeking God's face or humility. Esteemed church experts now see that the most striking lack in the church is an absence of LEADERSHIP.

Because of the great number of leadership events now available, however, the problem is well in hand and we can breathe a sigh of relief that the church is no longer in peril.