Thursday, November 19, 2009

Cheeze Whiz Church

For months I'd been denying that my church was trying to become a megachurch. Then, when I began to understand that, yes, I guess it was into the "church growth movement," I figured that wasn't such a bad thing.

So I began to study the church growth movement. What a blast! It's like a whole circus rolled into town and began setting up in the church parking lot. Then, after few objections from anyone important, the circus just rolled right into the sanctuary, renamed the sanctuary a "ministry center" and started putting on performances for packed crowds.

When I came to articles on church "branding," I knew that it all sounded familiar. What do you call something that is consistent, is colorful, sounds exciting, pretends to be something it's not (how much cheeze is in Cheez Whiz?), tastes pretty bland, contains very little nutrition and sounds a lot like Jesus but isn't? Hmmm. Cheeze Whiz? Gotta be Cheeze Whiz. Thus the name of Cheeze Whiz Church. Yeah, I know Cheese is spelled with an "s" and that Cheez Whiz doesn't have an "e."

This blog chronicles the whacky, colorful, bizarro world of the Growth Movement. I'm calling it the Growth Movement instead of the Church Growth Movement because the more it grows the less church is in it. They actually want it that way. The word "church" is yucky, icky, bleaach, pooh, yick. The less like church they can get, the better.

This is not an angry, diatribe against the Growth Movement. I even actually like some parts of it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with creative innovation. Instead, it's a spectator view, popcorn in hand, supersized pop, Milk Duds at the ready. While my own church transitions into a Growth, and I discover more and more notable features of Growth bodies, I'll post findings here.