Cheeze Whiz Church: Mark Your Calendars, and Take Your Mark!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Mark Your Calendars, and Take Your Mark!

THE PASTORS CONFERENCE TO END ALL PASTORS CONFERENCES

THIS WILL BE AN AWESOME TIME OF LISTENING TO SPEAKERS, SCRIBBLING NOTES YOU NEVER LOOK AT AGAIN, AND TEXTING YOUR DAUGHTER AT HER GYMNASTICS MEET

April 31 - May 6
This year in Wonderful Westport, South Dakota!

CHURCH LEADER ALIVE! 2011

Your Worship-Outlook Will Undergo a heart-minded transformation after this Fabulous Week!

The most engaging, topic-leveraging speakers ever!
A host of dynamic leaders, pastors and best-selling authors converge to reveal top, life-changing, skill-revitalization secrets to totally renew your leadership ministry
Scores of break-out sessions every leader will find relevant and engaging, accompanied by break-in sessions for equipping missional workers in using words to penetrate culture and bring real change
Deluxe accommodations loaded with every amenity that leading leaders could want - in lavish, prairie surroundings

Church Leader Alive! 2011 challenges relevant church ministry professionals to reboot and replenish their entire worship performance, through lots of words. More words than ever before: Heart-minded words and truth-challenging words; best-selling words and top-expert words; mentor-blasting words and truth-engagement words. You will leave packing the most heart-working, God-enthralling words EVER!

This information-rich conference will refresh and renew leaders with the very best resources available from leading churches of purpose and engagement. And ENGAGEMENT is what it's all about. Jesus emphasized engagement more than any other topic. It's time we did, too. Leave behind all your old, tired assumptions about how church is supposed to work, and be amazed!

Leaders will learn how to develop the heart-skills to revitalize congregations.

Servant-leaders will discover how to network with other missionally-minded fellowship professionals from all over the North-Central region.
Learn how to boost servant-hearted efficiency, discipleship effectiveness and fertile-minded growth of your church by filling in the blanks on a genuine, preprinted notebook with our Church Leader Alive! logo on it.

Don’t miss this rare opportunity to expand your congregation’s capacity for serving the needs of your faith community and surrounding unchurched population.

Discover how you can fill the exploding vacuum of church leadership holes in your workforce and effectively access a learning-driven, online community network of leaders to recharge your unique leadership voice. With purpose.

You will be given an entire supply of engagement-building tools and helps, just as Jesus provided for his leadership followers.

Enjoy the variety of dynamic presenters:

Renowned multi-campus pastor John Worshipmonger speaks on tactful ways to profit from the gospel
Glen Blather, Leadership-Mentoring expert, challenges leaders to increase giving by driving pledges and planting promises
Mark Salesemann, pastor of Laodocean Worship Center - a thriving, 18,000 member fellowship - shows how to turn a culture-penetrating electronic presence into piles of cash
Blockbuster author Ben Doindat, lists 15 face-palm simple pointers on writing best selling books of lists - to boost your community presence
Rich Klerrick, youth group coordinator for the explosive CrashCrunch Hollow Church in Ellendale, ND, gives timely pointers on planting and cultivating your youth investment
Josh Joaching, senior pastor of Watch-us-Grow Believer's Fellowship Association, demonstrates how you, too, can organize a pastor conference and profit wildly in just months.

During the week you will see how building strategic alliances and engagement networks can effect heart-change in your congregation, resulting in wholeness, success and overflowing offering plates.

You will be given tools to strengthen the culture of leadership among decision makers on your leadership team as you scribble furiously during the breakout sessions.
You will learn how to turn liabilities into flattery, shortages into healthy balances both spiritually and financially by hearing how expert superpastors have done it.
Your growth team will learn 18 ways to make tough decisions by tapping into spiritual reserves and charging up elements of faith - as well as efficiently and tactfully shutting up or kicking out (we call it disengagement) those who won't get with the vision.
Leaders will explore ways to journey into undiscovered, knowledge-rich territory while mapping their gifts and planting a championship crew of advisers, partners, co-leaders and mentors.

The 2011 Church Leader Alive! Conference will show you how to build awareness and how to reap spiritual returns. Gifted presenters and top leadership giants will reveal relevant, missional ministry strategies, from the inside out, while encouraging authentic, interactive, engaging approaches to the whole church growth process. Through hands-on partnering with regional and national experts in growth ministries, and big pledge campaigns, you will begin, very slowly, to become one of the select few top leaders yourself.

There will be refreshing times of training for church worship staff, to discover powerful, out-of-the-box methods of reviving an authentic spirit of worship in your services. Once again, empty boxes will be virtually scattered all over the foyer!

The conference features leading voices, as well as voice-activated leaders, who will educate and inspire churches to boldly impact their ministries through dynamic tools and the latest technological breakthroughs.Is your church on Kindle? Do you provide a regular podcast? Do you have the latest prayer app? We didn't think so. See how it's done. And much, much more!

This conference will provide more than just knowledge. It empowers and recharges! Register today for a 20 percent discount. For your conference pack, simply send a $600 deposit to Luxury Pastor Resorts c/o Judas Jeffries, 666 College Park Circle, Gehenna, SD 57666

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The Megachurch Dictionary

Align with the mission – stop questioning the agenda of the ministry team Apathy – attitude of small churches Authentic - working hard not to seem phony Be relational – being social in a godly kind of way Carrier of the vision - the main leader; the high one; the pastor Cast vision – spread our ideas while presenting them as God’s Catch the vision -- agree with the leadership Cause or effort greater than yourself – Sort of God, but not if you don’t believe yet. It’s God if you do, but if you don’t, it’s OK, too. Don’t sweat the details. CGM - code word for "church growth movement;" a philosophy espousing a market-model for expanding the reach of a church and enriching its leaders. Also known as PDC Church family – congregation, but friendlier Church growth – increasing the number of giving units Church people –(derogatory) attenders who object to cultural relevancy shifts, e.g. pot-smoking in the nursery; pole dancing in the fellowship hall- or who show other signs of uptight, old-fashioned church behavior. Often used with scare quotes to show disdain. Clarity of vision – agreement with the leaders on the direction or practices of the church Conversion rate – for all practical considerations, the rate at which unchurched become churched Coaching – turning a mediocre servant-leader into someone as brilliant and engaging as ourselves Commitment – spending more time on church events than with family; the quality of being on a higher spiritual plane than low-involvement “church people.” Closing their doors – what small churches do Cultivating fresh experiences – rejecting traditional methods; see Missional Do church -- attending or running church; a slightly satirical expression since the word "church" should be avoided except in sarcasm Equipping – giving underlings the skills God won’t create in them, so they can do mighty things for the Kingdom Energy – trait seen among ministry teams aligned with the mission and also seen in high-involvement lay people; missing from most churched people Exponential kingdom growth – the goal of the megachurch; becoming a giant inflatable Fellowship -- a churchy term that somehow sounds less churchy than church Giving units – church attenders who pay the bills so that the church can buy more A/V equipment Harvesting the unchurched – making services attractive to people who don’t like church, so they will eventually become giving units High-impact ministry -- a little more cutting edge than "making a difference," but not quite as culturally relevant as "missional" Heart-perceptions – much more reliable than mind perceptions (which can be skewed by too much reading of old literature, like scripture) High-yield church planting – producing lots of giving units from just a few Incarnational approach – being OK with the flesh; also, being intimidated by secular criticism about the inspiration and authority of scripture Influencers -- the high-powered, quality people in the congregation that leaders can use to put pressure on others when needed Innovators – creative, high-involvement attenders or leaders who aren’t afraid to break a few eggs while doing great things for God Intentional – purposeful, deliberate; as opposed to haphazard methods of church leadership, like following the leading of the Holy Spirit Internally-focused – the self-centered aims of traditional churches, not churches that spend thousands on high-tech equipment, theme-park Sunday schools and luxurious recreation facilities for members. Involvement (see Commitment) – slightly higher than faith on the spiritual gift inventory; possessors of this quality enjoy being in a position of glory in a megachurch Inspiration – a commodity that can be borrowed or purchased from sermon outline companies or online sermon sharing sites Kingdom engineers – ministry team members who know how to move people around to get the most out of everyone, for God Kingdom impact – making a difference in a holy kind of way, but not too holy Kingdom mindset – a rare perspective in churches that puts the creation of multiple giving units above everything else. Only servant-leaders with a kingdom mindset care enough to make a difference with the unchurched. Kingdom principles – a set of rules for helping God out aggressively Leadership skills – what talented pastoral teams develop to make it easier to move non-leaders around Leadership team – the ones who get the front seats; see Ministry team Low-involvement members – those who only come to morning services and never help in the nursery Ministry team – movers and shakers; the only “churched” people who count Mission – the leaders’ way Missional – the best kind, superior, on fire, evangelical, on a higher plane Missional churches – among the elite few churches that care about the lost, er, unchurched Navigate issues – keeping troublemakers quiet Out-of-the-box -- Once, this meant creative and unique approach; it's been overused now, though, so it's becoming an in-the-box term that innovative servant-leaders avoid Outward leader – good pastor Paradigm - model, example. Used frequently to show cultural and vocabular relevance Passion – what drives missional leaders but is lacking in others Pastoral talent team – Those God has called to make creative decisions and sit in the highest seats PDC model -- Purpose Driven Church model, a way of making your church elbow its way into relevance and growth Relevant - ten years behind the times, instead of 50 like non-missional churches Research – ranks higher than scripture in authority Statistics – rank even higher than research in authority Servant – Megachurch pastor title (see Servant-leader) Servant evangelism - anything you do for the church; sounds better than just evangelism Servant-leader – a church authority with all the glory of Christ’s humble label for church workers, while still enjoying the most prominent place in decision-making Small church – an inferior church, an unsuccessful church Strong culture - What missional leaders will establish in their church to coerce new attendees to become missional and invite friends Team – The pastor and his groupies The churched – (derogatory) backwater people who only like hymns and who cause trouble when churches move too fast into enlightened servanthood Training – teaching wannabes how to do what we big pastors do Transfers – church attenders who come from other churches; less desirable than the unchurched, but still welcomed as giving units Tribe – church family Vision – A plan for filling the largest building available with the most people, for God. Can substitute "delusion." Vision community – those special people in the congregation who think, walk, talk and act like the pastor or leaders, especially concerning church growth movement philosophy Vision statement – a multi-part expression, usually including mixed metaphors, that rephrases what the church intends to do to something that sounds godly Worship - Repetitive, loud, thematically bland music, performed before a standing crowd

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Mark Your Calendars, and Take Your Mark!

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Cheesy Bits

Why Cheeze Whiz

The Megachurch Dictionary

If Jesus were on Facebook

What if the Apostles were New Paradigm dudes?

Pour on the Cheeze Whiz

Labels

BEing Relevant and Freaking out CHurchy Folks at the same time

Blog Archive

Why Cheeze Whiz Church?

Megachurch dilemma

Megachurch Quote of the Month

Favorite high-caliber servant-leader mentor coaches

Where the honor is

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Thursday, February 10, 2011

Mark Your Calendars, and Take Your Mark!

0 comments:

Post a Comment

Cheesy Bits

Why Cheeze Whiz

The Megachurch Dictionary

If Jesus were on Facebook

What if the Apostles were New Paradigm dudes?

Pour on the Cheeze Whiz

Labels

BEing Relevant and Freaking out CHurchy Folks at the same time

Blog Archive

Why Cheeze Whiz Church?

Megachurch dilemma

Megachurch Quote of the Month

Favorite high-caliber servant-leader mentor coaches

Where the honor is

Subscribe and be Whizzed

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Feed